Patterns of behaviour otherwise unnoticed by the naked eye.

By: Victoria Hoffman

1. Teeter-totters … in the form of Buttery tables.

2. Platypuses … tongue-in-beak.

3. The 1% … leave 99 bottles of beer on the Wall.

4. Midnight … rush or get “squashed.”

5. Hiatuses … The ears cooperate.

6. Quad clashes … unleash the slackin’.

7. Mid-less … everything must either be, or not be.

8. Tricks … let’s butter the Buttery.

9. Treats … cake-flavoured vodka?

10. Bang! … ing.

Patterns of behaviour otherwise unnoticed by the naked eye.

By: Victoria Hoffman

Customary kisses/kisstomary cusses … It’s a Trincest thing.

Glassware accessories … “That bottle fits nicely in your hand.”

Seal decoys … Extend their Shark Week dominance to the Welch stairs.

Confusion … How to stay afloat in a boat-less race?

Group chanting … WE ARE THE SALT OF THE EARTH!

Warm metals … Tongue-stick-proof-waggle.

Unconscious decision-making … When in doubt, pass out.

Faux-crocodile upholstery … “Swamp” = “swank.”

The North … Beer is colder at the Dupont LCBO.

10. Unicorn-maning … Like horse-maning, but you won’t believe it.