The dangers of dining-hall overindulgence

By: Ben Crase

The changing of the leaves in the quad marks the arrival of fall, my second favorite season. The top spot goes to summer for obvious reasons, but fall is not far behind. This is partially due to the nostalgia it induces with the return of memories of trips to Pingles Fun Farm, but more importantly due to the food and drink that comes with the harvest.

Since coming to university, the leafless trees of the quad have come to signal the ominous reality of what fall brings for students. Sadly, it has become a time of realization. For Frosh, romanticized visions of university (as depicted in American Pie) are shattered. For second years, getting better grades because “school matters now” will not undo the damage that first year did to their GPAs. For third years, it is the realization that they might need to resort to Low Table Dinners to find references. For fourth years, it’s the realization that they should have planned a fall-back in case they don’t get into Med school.

With burdens such as these weighing on everyone’s shoulders, the midterm season can seem very daunting. To help ease the coming stress, it is important to use food and friends as pillars of emotional stability. I therefore urge everyone to take full advantage of the holiest of holies: Strachan Hall. Some may see this claim as a sign that I have already gone off the deep end, but it’s important to step back and see what the true role the dining hall plays.

Unlike every other “student space” at Trin, the dining hall is one of the only places where you can hang out and have a good time without getting noise complaints or, heaven forbid, the death stare from Stephen Stitch while he studies in the JCR. I would argue that Strachan is much more than a simple dining hall. Indeed, It is a humanitarian sanctuary where the guilt felt for wasting time in non-academic endeavors does not apply because, hey, we all gotta eat.

But be weary. Strachan is not immune to the rule that too much of a good thing can be…well, bad. One can easily overindulge in his or her love of wasting away hours at meals. Evidence of this can be seen among the upper year campers who are often mistaken for being permanent table fixtures. If you are asking yourself whether you have crossed this line, perform the following test: count how many hours of class you have a week, then tally the hours you spend at meals. If you spend more time at meals than in class, you might have a problem.

Some – who I call ‘PQBers’ – have managed to avoid the dining hall’s black hole effect. This practice is best seen in the routine of its founder, Patrick Quinton-Brown, who enters dinner late (therefore avoiding heavy traffic), eats, has two meaningful conversations and then leaves twenty minutes after his arrival.

I admit it: I look at PQBers with envy. After calculating my own hours spent at meals, I am a confirmed camper, which is evident in both my waistline and workload. If you are like me, and willingly accept defeat, you should at least plan accordingly. Personally, I have begun experimenting with “stumunching” (doing work while eating). I am also testing tray-less grazing. Most campers end up continually eating while in Strachan. So, to limit how much you are eating, do not take a tray. This will force you to carry only one dish at a time, thereby curbing what may otherwise become a pile of snackables. As you accumulate dishes, you can always place them on the trays of the people around you who are sensible enough to leave in a timely manner.

Frosh, if you have yet to lose yourself in Strachan, accept this as a warning of the inevitable.· · ·

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Strachan-cipes

Emily’s Mashed Banana (Bad Version)

Ingredients: Super unripe Banana (“makes it sweeter”) Brown sugar Lots of cinnamon

Equipment: Fork Bowl

Mash Banana so all the chunks are gone. Add brown sugar and cinnamon. Stir until completely incorporated. Enjoy!

Ben’s Mashed Banana (Good Version)

Ingredients: Super ripe Banana (which is actually sweet and doesn’t taste starchy like a green banana) No Brown sugar (you can put it in if you really want to, but using a ripe banana eliminates the need for adding more sugar, therefore keeping it healthy) Lots of cinnamon Milk or soy milk Equipment:

Fork Bowl Microwave

Mash banana in bowl until hand is sore. Add cinnamon and milk. Stir. Microwave until hot (don’t worry if it expands outside of bowl in process). Enjoy!